Welcome to The Maltshovel Guided Tour....
Here you can take a look at the inside of a typical, traditional, English Town Pub....

As we show you around we'll give you helpful tips on how you can most enjoy / survive your visit by observing the customs and etiquette of the pub. These traditions have been developed over centuries, and we take them very seriously indeed. Woe betide anyone who fails to observe them....

We enjoy the benefit of flagstone floors, floor boards, oak panelling and pine tables. Of course, as the floors are uneven most of the tables wobble, so our beer mats come in very handy....

The Bar....
We have one large L-shaped bar for customers and our single bar has three serving areas. In design it is not dissimilar to the bar in the American comedy 'Cheers'! What can we say other than we did it first, and they copied us. Of course, any similarity between characters in Cheers and those in the Maltshovel is entirely coincidental....

Crossing the line....
In years past there were two bars - a saloon bar and a public bar. There was a difference in level between the two floors. Now that they are one, there is a difference in floor levels. This means we have.... a step. It is not a big step. In fact it's quite a little step, but it's enough of a step to catch you unawares, so it is marked with a white line. The line also serves another very useful purpose. We claim to be the only pub in the country to have banned someone from half a pub i.e. from crossing that line....

Feng Shui Consultants....
For the peace and comfort of our customers our interior has been carefully arranged by feng shui experts....

We were recently visited by a large group of 30 something women. They went to one end of the bar and rearranged all of the tables. This was not a problem, BUT, when more friends turned up, for reasons best known to themselves, they moved to the other end of the bar - and rearranged all the tables there. Did they put the other tables back as they found them? They did not....

All this happened whilst Steve had gone 'walkabout', leaving a worried Andy in charge of the pub. "You know what he's like. He'll come back to find the pub's been completely rearranged. Will he be happy? He will not", (or words to that effect).

A regular at the bar piped up. "Andy, I am your feng shui consultant. He exhaled deeply. "And now....it is done!". And, as he gave Andy a friendly slap on the side of the face, he concluded by saying, "But you can call me Zane".

We will move tables to accommodate larger groups, but please ask us nicely....

Empty Glasses and Bottles....
Do empty glasses magic themselves back to the bar? They do not. We thank customers who help us by placing their empties on the bar. In quite a narrow bar, so the making the difference is generally a case of deciding whether to put it down with your right arm or your left....

The Door....
Does the front door shut itself? It does not. (O.k., so you've guessed the rest)!

The Fires....
For your comfort we have two large fires for the colder months. Do they burn magic logs? They do not. Logs are heavy. When we're carrying them through the bar, will you stay put and continue your conversation, or will you help by opening the door and getting out of the way - sharpish. Of course you will!

The Bar Stool....
There is a blacksmith who drinks here. Here is his bar stool. He made it out of an old tractor seat and the yellow spring came from a Range Rover. Just because you can use it to pogo around the bar on it, does not mean that it's wise to do so. Have you ever met an angry Blacksmith ...?