The Accident in the Car Park

I have decided that life is just getting too complicated for me to cope with.

On arrival at the MS car park at 5.00pm on Tuesday 17th May as per usual the car park was full.
I could not park anywhere without inconveniencing someone, so after careful consideration, I decided to park across the bows of Barry's Merc and Graham Hurst's 4x4 on the basis that Barry's car would be going nowhere and if Graham needed to get out he would find me.

I ordered my pint and had a pleasant chat with Derbyshire Matt and Tiny Tim about the virtues of Lotus sports cars. Tim ordered himself a pint of Strongbow, but, when Sally went to pour it, the pump only delivered a half pint. Hey presto the MS had run out of cider.

Suffice to say that there followed an unfortunate chain of events.

A prompt phonecall is made to Richard Kent at the Shelley in Broadbridge Heath. "Could we please borrow a barrell of cider?" "Of course you can", says Richard.

So, a Malt Shovel member of staff (who shall remain nameless) jumped into her car and reversed across the car park and into the back of my car, causing minor damage.

After leaving the Malt Shovel I had to call in at the Shelley to fix an appointment with Richard Kent about his website. "Have you just come from the Malt Shovel", he asks. "Yes", said I. "Well that's a coincidence, because I've just lent them a barrel of cider". "Yes, I know, and it's because of your barrel of cider that my car's now damaged". He looked incredulously at me.

So just who is responsible for damaging my car? Is it Tim for drinking cider? Is it Richard for agreeing to lend the MS a barrel? It is emphatically not the fault of the woman who hit my car, because she has ovaries which give her licence to reverse without looking. No. It is all my fault for parking my car there in the first place.